Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Back to Back

Time has passed and as much as I'd like to say my back has improved, that I'm walking with ease, it just ain't happening. My bad back and I are together for the long haul.

I saw one of those commercials on TV about laser back surgery, and I have to admit it crossed my mind. How wonderful it would be to go in, have a quick bit of surgery and walk out pain free.

It must have been in the back of my mind when I saw the doctor on Friday. I asked about a new MRI, thinking maybe something could be done for my back. She said no. There was nothing to be done, to many degenerative discs, pinched nerves, arthritis. Not something to be done by a quick in and out.

I realize the things that cause me problems, like lifting anything over 18-20 pounds. It doesn't help that my walker weighs 24 lbs. and I lift it in and out every time I go out.

I am making an investment in a new mattress, hoping that will make it better for me in the mornings, that it won't take me most of the day to get moving. I am definitely not a morning person.

One thing I have noticed, is how much dust and dirt accumulates in three weeks. I have been unable to do even the most basic housekeeping. The dishes is all I've accomplished, and that is only because I've had basic meals and used paper plates.

If it could just get a little bit better, that's not asking for much, is it?

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Oy, My Aching Back

I made it through the week, feeling a slow, but sure return to some easier mobility. Had my shower and felt better, almost human.

Human enough to try for a trip to the store, my refrigerator had never been so empty. I made it around the store, using the cart like a walker, leaning on it quite heavily by the time I made it to check out.

The night was rough, the pain I usually feel on standing and sitting plagued me in bed, making it difficult to turn and find a comfortable position.

I'm trying to keep moving, up walking, sitting in my chair, stretching out flat in the bed. I'm taking Advil at its maximum daily dose, for the pain and the anti-inflammatory effect, and hope this will soon pass. I will never be totally free from back pain, but this exacerbation is hard to manage.

I had an MRI done a few years ago, and my doctor's words on seeing the report..."Your back is a mess".

I can't agree more.

And why is it that when your back hurts you get clumsy and drop things, or need things on the very top or bottom shelves? I need to vacuum, but that will have to wait. It will be enough to get the garbage to the curb tomorrow, and if I don't get some laundry done soon I'll be in dire straits.

Day by day, that's how it's given so that's how I'll take it.

Thursday, 7 September 2017

Back Pain and More Back Pain

What day is it? I seem to be all confused, which often happens after a long weekend, but this time my week has been turned upside down because of debilitating pain.

I woke up Tuesday morning and could barely stand, stumbled into the bathroom but then could not stand at all. If not for the sink close by, I may have just fallen to the floor from having to sit so long. (Toilets are not comfortable).

I made it back to bed in a semi standing stance, using the door frame, furniture to keep me upright. Let me just say, it was a rough day. I made it over to my walker and used it to support myself, something I have never had to do inside before.

I was relatively comfortable as long as I was lying down, but to stand or sit, I was in such pain. All of that day and most of the next were spent in bed, and I am getting so tired of being in bed, inside and not able to function.

Today, I managed to get a shower, though I had my doubts it was going to happen when the first challenge was to lift my leg over the edge of the tub. It was difficult, but the hot water felt great and I got it done. I actually feel somewhat human again.

But I've been in my chair for a few minutes, on the computer, checking e-mails and such, and I can feel the pain start again. I best get some breakfast while I can. Meals have not been a priority these last few days but I need to take my medication with food.

I have coped with the bad knee, the Multiple Sclerosis, but this back pain affects everything I do. It hampers my mobility more than the MS.

I wish I had taken better care of my back when I was younger, but then youth gives us a sense of invincibility, that we can do anything. Unfortunately, we pay for that 'anything' later in life.

Sunday, 27 August 2017

Does Absence Make the Heart Fonder?

Funny, exactly a month today since I posted last. I'd like to say I was busy as anything, maybe off on vacation, but alas, not happening.

In the ongoing saga of the new meds, I was doing a very gradual increase and it wasn't working. Instead of increasing each week until I was on four pills. twice a day, I increased just the evening dose and stayed there for awhile.

I feel like I lost time, feeling so tired all the time, fuzzy headed and my balance was worse, giving me a few near falls.

I decided to cut back to one pill, twice a day. I also went back on the B vitamins and vitamin D. All that has given me a bit of more energy, cleared my thinking a bit.

The nerve pain that has plagued me at night is still in control.

So, all in all it's a win win for me. I need one of those as I struggle with the ongoing progression of my disease.

It is what it is, we take it one day at a time, just the way it's given to us.

Thursday, 27 July 2017

Ain't No Twinkle Toes

Have you ever had those spasms in your toes where each toe is going in a different direction? I get them frequently, and was lying down, felt my toes tense and looked down.

On the right foot, the big toe was down and to the left, the other toes normal. On the left foot four toes were bending down, the big toe in a normal position.

Sometimes when I have these spasm they have been very painful. Not too long ago I had a bad episode, and had to press my foot flat on the cooler bathroom floor for some relief. Other times, I know it's happening, but there is little to no pain.

I wonder if the fact it's been less painful is due to the medication I've been on for nerve pain. Since I started I've had less pain in my feet at night, and in my lower legs. The stabbing pain in my fingers is gone, though it seems to have moved down to my foot, at the base of my big toe.

I haven't increased the medication as the doctor had ordered. And, yes, I know self medicating is not smart, but I can't afford to increase the dosage if it would increase my dizziness and balance issues.

Had that spasm again to my feet. You'd think it would be the same on both sides, in sync so to speak, but it makes me laugh to see my toes all going in different direction.

At least I can still laugh about it all. Today at least.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Garbage Day Get Up and GO

I felt like a train wreck this morning, after the day of vacuuming yesterday, barely made it to the bathroom and back to bed for a little more sleep.

But it's Monday, garbage day, so I had to get up. I gathered the bags of recycling, the 'wet' garbage, found my shoes and cane and opened the door. The first few steps were hesitant, but then it got easier, the further I went.

It's  a beautiful sunny day out there. I looked at my garden with the thriving Hostas, my pots not so healthy.

As busy as I've been the last couple of weeks, the watering has been hit and miss. I lost one, not from a lack of water, but from over watering. Apparently there was a piece of plastic in the bottom of the pot that would not let the water drain, and as this pot was in a position to get the rain, the roots were soaked and rotten.

I need to replace it, as I miss the color.

My neighbor just visited, a catch up from the weekend. It's one of the nicest things about living here, neighbors who visit and watch out for each other.

Maybe I'll be up for a little walk later, to the common room, to do my laundry. Now that is the one downfall here, especially in winter. But like life, you have to balance the good with the bad, and hope the good comes out ahead.

Sunday, 23 July 2017

Hating Housework

We're a week and a day since my daughter's supposedly surprise party, and I had hoped to get back to a more normal and less stressful, less anxiety driven week.

It started out on Monday with an out of town trip to meet one of my oldest friends for lunch. This is something we'd hoped to do on a more regular basis but it just hasn't happened. I managed to get through a side trip to Michael's, the craft store, as it's been awhile and I needed the fix.

There was a dinner at the restaurant for family that night as it was her actual birthday, and I got through that, my energy draining quickly and knew I was going to crash once I got home.

The next day I drove out of town to pick up two of my grandchildren, as their parents were working. Thank goodness for the internet, though I really don't approve of that as a babysitter, any more than I liked using television in my day. We had lunch on our way back to my place, and a stop at the store, thinking ahead as I had slave labor to carry stuff.

I set my granddaughter up to do a craft, painting rocks, while my grandson played on his tablet.

The next day my daughter dropped over. By Thursday it was lock the doors, and pull the covers over my head as I needed some recovery time. I basically slept off and on for the whole day

Friday would have been the same but I'd promised a trip out to my son's to check on the kittens as they were away.

I had managed no housework over the past two weeks, to stressed and worn out with party preparations, so decided I would clean at least the bathroom before i went to check on the cats.

Saturday I was given a chance to spend time with another granddaughter and we did craft stuff all afternoon, and when she left I was done in, but had stuff now to pick up and cleaning to be done. I decided I would do it Sunday.

Finally, I have the vacuuming done, though not a perfect job, better than it was. I could only do a small section at a time, (I mean small as I have a studio type apartment), before I had to lie down because of back pain. Three applications of analgesic balm, two doses of Tylenol and about four short lie downs and it's done. And I am exhausted.

I see the dust on the shelves, but that will have to wait for another day, my body'd had all it can take. I wanted to nap, but as I skipped lunch I was afraid I'd sleep through dinner. It's in the oven and the timer had gone, so it's dinner and back to lying down.

Please can tomorrow be a quiet day.