Sleeping Patterns

I rarely sleep more than a few hours at a time, and frequently suffer from insomnia. It was suggested at one time that I might have sleep apnea, and I had to laugh.

I have a friend who went through the sleep study and does indeed have sleep apnea. They told her the number of times she moved during the night, and the number of times she quit breathing, and I was astounded. She now wears a machine at night to regulate her breathing, and sleeps much better.

When I go to sleep, I settle in on one side, and when I wake a few hours later, I'm in the exact same position. I turn over and go back to sleep, and again, don't move at all until I wake again.

Is it any wonder I wake up with aches and pains?

Today, it's my left elbow that just aches and throbs. I assume it's because of the position it was in for the last few hours, as I haven't done any lifting or such to irritate the joint.

This is just the way it goes, one morning it might be the elbow, another my back, or a hip or shoulder. I never know, but the one thing that's a guarantee, is I will wake with pain, of a varying degree of severity.

It's no wonder I am not a morning person.It takes a few hours to get me moving to where I can consider going out, or getting anything accomplished.

Add on the worsening MS fatigue and it's frustrating. My mind has all these ideas, but the body is too tired to consider it or to make the effort.

Little by little, I'll get things done...'cause my mind never quits.

Memory Glitches

The cognitive issues with MS are very complicated, as is anything related to the brain.

I can see something I know I should know, and be totally confused. Like this week, I was typing in my grandson's name, and knew as I looked at it that something was wrong. It seemed off to me, but how could I have made a mistake with his name, I've been writing it for 11 years.

So, I left it the way I'd written it and then today, saw the way someone else wrote it and yes, I did spell it wrong. I added a letter, sounded the same, but not spelled the same.

There are other times I have looked at something and can't understand what it means. Like the day I was driving and had a green light, and was momentarily confused as to what green meant. Lucky for me, I've never been confused with the red or yellow.

I know we ca all have moments of forgetfulness...like where are the keys, what is my postal code, you get the idea. The kind of lapses I experience are different, and I think more like what an Alzheimer's patient feels when he/she no longer recognizes what was once familiar.

Lucky for me, I have a family who understand these lapses and don't make a big deal of it. But for me, I have a hard time with these brain issues. It's hard to know and accept that you are not the same person you once were, in smarts and personality, and the real scary part, who you might become in the future.

One day at a time.

Cold Feet

https://www.verywell.com/cold-feet-and-multiple-sclerosis-2440826

I found this article about cold feet and MS.

My feet feel cold all the time, in spite of wearing heavy socks. As evening approaches my feet will be numb, and painful.

I go to bed early and lie under my electric blanket, something I got for Christmas and have only used for these weeks since the holiday. I feel it helps, but the pain I feel each night makes me constantly move my legs, and wiggle my toes.

My feet appear very white. When I could get into the tub I would have a bath before bed to warm up my feet, but the warm water actually made them hurt more.

I apply my analgesic ointment from the knees down the outside of my leg, and that seems to help, along with what I call my 'magic' blanket.

The thing is, you have to find what works for you and stick with it. Anything you can do to not let this disease suck anymore of the joy out of your life than it has to.

Sorry, that sounded pretty 'woe is me' but it's one of those pain filled days and I know I won't get any of the things I hoped to do done today.

But, hey, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, my drapes are open to enjoy the view of my neighborhood. I'm thinking spring, and avoiding any glance at the thermometer.

MS- The Subject of a Speech

How many people really like public speaking? I hear my grandchildren's dread and fear when speech time comes around at school.

This year, my 11 year old grandson did his speech on Multiple Sclerosis. I was touched that he felt an interest in my disease, enough to share with his classmates. He did his research, for the usual, cause, symptoms and treatments.

But then he talked about how the family joins together for the annual spring MS Walk. He talked about how the kids ride their bikes and I pick them up at the half way point.

This young man has learned how to help me, in all the simple ways, an arm when I go up or down a step, holding a door open. I am very proud of him, that at his age he can be this sensitive to the needs of another.

There is an element of fun to the walk that he mentioned in his speech. The first year we did this as a family, we won best team name "Debby Does MS". (Not that his classmates would get the reference, I hope). The second year we all wore neon green T-shirts. Then we added hats and name tags.

I love that after the very informative beginning to his speech, he lightened the mood talking about the fun of doing the walk. And he ended it in the best possible way, that we might meet at the walk.

Thank you, Kiddo, it means the world to me that you made MS the topic of your speech.

Love you to the moon and back.