Perception of Time

 I read my last post from April 2018 and find myself at a loss, unable to put time and events in proper sequence, if I remember at all. Some of this I blame on Covid as I have spent most of the last three plus years in lockdown. A situation I cannot fully blame on the pandemic. 

In 2018 I wrote of increasing dependence on the walker, and a resulting fall.  The remainder of that year is a blur.  

In 2019 I suffered badly with sciatica.  Walking was so painful I relied on the walker and did little driving because of the discomfort. It was a summer that previewed the ‘real’ lockdown. 

In the fall I fell and broke my tailbone. And during the Christmas holidays I fell twice more hurting my shoulder and badly bruising my left side. 

With the new year came all the news about this new virus they called Covid 19 for the year it was identified. Scary times, and yet my life changed little.  I never ventured out that winter, as is my usual. The number of recent falls had me afraid of the ice and snow, and as I wasn’t driving in the dark my self imposed curfew decreased my opportunities for getting out and about.

The news of the pandemic was horrible. We seemed to be in a bubble for awhile, as it was slower to affect the rural areas than the crowded urban locations. Hospitals were over run, medical staff overburdened and discussions about measures to be taken, treatments to be used were frequently points of disagreement.  

Businesses closed, people were out of work, and everyone was dealing with the isolation and the fear.  I was retired, my income the same, and I had family to assist. It was their lives that were in upheaval.  At least they were still working, but stressed with the responsibility of home schooling, child care and the well being of the family.

I was fortunate that local stores stepped up and offered home delivery. I had my groceries delivered, my medication too. I became an avid Amazon shopper so I was able to keep myself in craft supplies and reading materials. 

And so was my life for these last few years. My MS, which had altered from relapsing remitting to progressive, continued to challenge me. I was using the walker 100% of the time and there were the usual challenges but I was managing, coping.  For a time.

Almost Spring Like

I can't believe it's been Christmas since I last posted. I'd like to say it was because I was out doing things, going places but, alas, that is not the case.

It's funny how one change in your life, living circumstances, health, can change everything. Because everything is connected.

I was having trouble sitting in the recliner and got a new-to-me wing back chair with ottoman. This chair was comfortable but I faced the same problem I had before, no table that would allow me to use laptop and keep my feet up. So I wasn't on the lap top long enough to do much work.

It was the holidays and then that down period that always follows. The recliner was still here, shoved into the corner as I was going to attempt to sell it, but weeks went by and the walls started to close in on me as my already small space seemed smaller, and I was getting out less because of the weather.

I also got an I pad and could use that for most of my internet stuff, games, research, E mails and now texting, so the lap top that is, for the most part, for writing, sat idle.

I think my MS is gradually progressing. The fatigue is constant and yet I don't sleep well at night, and miss the first part of the day trying to catch up. Pain limits my activity so that I take the walker more and more so I can sit and rest. This is a big change for me.

I use the walker going to and from the car, but then it stayed in the car. I think I was still in denial of my need for it, as I seemed to treat it as a cart, handy to carry my groceries from car to house. But if I hope to manage any activity, alone or with friends or family, I need to admit I can do it better with the walker.

The days I'm out and have to support my upper body sitting are so draining. That is why I spend the evenings in bed, and many afternoons, I admit, because my head and body are supported. Not a position for writing but I sure as hell am doing a lot of crochet.

Newborn baby hats and chemo hats for the hospital, stuffed animals for the women's shelter. You know what they say about idle hands.

But here we are into spring, though the cold and recent snow would not support that, and I want to get organized. The recliner is gone, my space is my own, and I want to make it work for me. So, in spite of recent setbacks, a worsening of my back and a fall, I am eager to get things around here that work for me.

Summer cannot be that far off. I'm sure if we ever get spring it won't feel as long as winter did and it will be blue skies and sunshine.

What a Pain in the Back!

I have Multiple Sclerosis. But it is not the MS that plagues my day, it is the back pain.

I can barely walk any distance and I can only stand for a few minutes without something to lean on.

When I go shopping I can barely make it through the store, and believe me I don't attempt every aisle. But, as it is, I cover enough distance to make my back ache horribly. Why, I ask, do the refrigerated items have to be at the back? Why not the mops and brooms and all the water and pop?

I know, I know, it's because of the refrigeration and how they fill the shelves from behind, from another refrigerated area. Still.

I was out with my son yesterday, just company when he had to pick up a gift from a store out of town. We grabbed our coffee and hit the road. Mother and son time.

The store was in the country, on a highway heading north, and was a supplier of all and everything related to hunting and fishing. The store was huge and had everything you could imagine and more. I was curious and went in to look.

On the drive I had been talking about how far I could walk before hitting my limit. I managed to get through the front area, up the step to the back section and did a circle through. Then the pain hit, mild at first, then getting worse as I continued to walk.

I looked at my son and said, "This is my limit".

I walked down to the cashier as he checked out and made it to the car with little problem.

At home I needed to sit, glad I didn't have anything to do, no groceries to put away, nothing but to say goodbye to my son and thank him for the day.

I see now why those shopping days really torture me. It's the walking, the lifting, the loading and unloading of the car. I get the frozen and refrigerated stuff put away and forget about the rest, needing to lie down.

It's a cruel fact of life that when you want to shop more frequently (so you carry less and don't have to buy so much fresh fruit and vegetables at one time), you can't get out that often. How nice for younger people to just drop by the store on the way home for  those few items needed. We older and less able people don't/can't get out as often and so need to stock up.

I hate having so many fruits and vegetables that I can't eat it all before some of it goes bad. I know I shouldn't buy so much but it's hard to resist.

Here I am, a few days before Christmas, sitting in my comfortable chair, complaining. I should be glad on a day like this to be old, older, and less abled. I don't have to worry, as a manager, that needed staff can't make it to work because of the snow, or that I need to go to work and my kids are home from school, yeah, a snow day.

We all have our challenges, life is never easy, but we can help each other and make our burdens less.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!

Facing Dreaded News

I have a friend, an older lady, who got the bad news the other day that all older people dread...that she can no longer drive. For her it's a visual thing, and she is no longer safe to drive even the local streets of our small town.

She knew it was coming as she'd already quit driving at night or to out of town places that were not as familiar. But knowing it's coming is not the same as hearing those words that make it true.

We talked the day she'd been to the doctor and she seemed fine, accepting.. I called her today to see if she wanted to go to the store with me, but she was stuck at home waiting for a service call. You know the old 'he'll be there between one and three' kind of thing.

She admitted yesterday was a bad day, reality sinking in. It wasn't that she had anywhere to go, it was the idea that she couldn't just 'get up and go'.

As I've been dealing with the changes in my own status I can sympathize. The list of Can't Do gets bigger than the Can Do's.

I'll have to think of her more often, see if she wants to accompany me on my shopping trips. It's fun to have a friend along, maybe to turn shopping into a lunch out and some conversation.

Always a plus for those of us who live alone.

Brain Blip

I haven't written for awhile, and though I'd like to say it's because I've been out and about, too busy to write, that is sadly not the case.

As prepared I was for Christmas, or so I thought, I had a little brain blip that caused me and everyone else needless stress.

I have a journal that I use to keep track of my Christmas shopping. I find this necessary as I start my shopping in January and have to find spots to hide the stuff throughout the year. I could tell you what I bought everyone on my list going back about 10 years.

I divide the pages so everyone has a column, and it takes four pages with 7 grandchildren, my two kids, their spouses and the other friends and family I buy for.

I'm a bit OCD, as I not only write it all down, I highlight it when wrapped. That way I know when I have to search for the gift I hid away eight months before.

I was wrapping what I though was a few last minute gifts and found my journal almost empty of entries. How could this be? I had the feeling I'd shopped a great deal and my first thought was I'd neglected to write it down.

I asked my son about gifts I'd wrapped and given to him to store. My daughter had one bin and I thought my son had two. Unfortunately he couldn't find them. And I was adamant they were at his place.

Stressful times. Here I was thinking I had all these presents and now, weeks from our family gathering, I had very little.

Given that I have not been out much this year, my back pain greatly limiting my activity, I figured my son was right. The 2 boxes of gifts I thought I'd given him were from the year before. I made my apologies to all concerned.

What I had was a plethora of crocheted items. I had made 4 sweaters and numerous hats, scarves and mittens. I also had the 15 items that I make, different each year, one for each person. This year it was stuffed animals, a fun change from socks, slippers and hats.

I did do a mad dash of shopping to complete my list, easily done through gift cards as the older grandkids are fussy and too hard to buy for, particularly clothes.

I got it all done but this total loss of awareness of my shopping/buying status, and the prominent memory of last year that was so dominant scared me. I hate any of these brain blip episodes as they come without warning and jar what I think of as my reality.

At least I can stand by my journal and its effectiveness. My system works, it's my brain that let me down.

Wishing you all the best for this holiday season.

As Days Go By

I'd like to say that the reason I haven't posted of late is because I'm busy and having a good time, but unfortunately that is not true, or not completely true.

Some times the days kind of blend, and pass without any real sense of time. I've been out and around, but I don't call running errands or shopping for groceries a big deal. Though there are days I struggle to do even that.

There have been a number of day trips. One to Kingston to the MS Clinic, my yearly check in. Not a lot has changed, so that was the good news. Sometimes I think the MS is quite manageable, if only my back and knee were not so problematic.

I did manage another day trip out of town, went with my daughter and grandson for his doctor's appointment. We went to Costco and out for lunch.

Yesterday I met my brother at our halfway point, him coming from the west, me the east. We had lunch at our usual spot and I even managed a short visit to Michael's before rushing home to meet family.

It was my granddaughter's first night of indoor soccer, and she, her Mom and siblings were meeting for pizza first. It ended up a long day as it was also my son's birthday and as he worked until seven, the timing was right for us to all meet for ice cream to celebrate.

Today I'm a little slow, tired and my plan is to stay home and get a few household chores done. Or maybe I'll have a nap, and move my today's To Do list to tomorrow.

Anger and MS

Who would have thought there were different kinds of anger? Well, this article about anger and MS describes the different kinds of anger often found in MS patients.


I think it was a very interesting article, especially how MS may be a factor in anger. So, I may not just be a miserable bitch at times, holding on to anger, because....well...because I'm a miserable bitch. There is a disease process in the works.

I do believe these descriptions work for all people, not just those with MS. Recognize anyone in your life who has anger issues?



https://www.verywell.com/anger-in-multiple-sclerosis-4114775?utm_campaign=list_ms&utm_medium=email&utm_source=cn_nl&utm_content=10753091&utm_term=

A Commercial I Avoid

There's a commercial on television for Voltaren gel, a topical pain medication for joint pain. It shows a grandmother with knee pain, who uses the gel and is good to go, no more pain.

I wish it worked that way for me. I use a topical called Motion Medicine that my son got for me at the chiropractor's office. I use it on my back, my knee and on my shoulders when necessary. It's my favorite topical pain reliever.

In the commercial the young boy talks about his grandmother, and it shows her being very active. His final comment is that he's glad his grandmother "is fun again."

If it were only that easy.

It made me think that my grandchildren, ages 8 to 19, have for the most part, never seen me healthy. I have been on disability since the second grandchild was born, 16 years ago. It's been a steady downhill slide since that time, MS and the arthritis.

There was the original concern, about tiring me out, but at least I was mobile, better than today. They've seen me progress...though decline is more apt...to using a cane, and then a walker.

How I wish there could be more, I could be more, but it didn't work that way.

Hate that commercial, when it's on I check the schedule or the weather, no sense being bombarded with what can never be.

"We are Experiencing Technical Difficulties..."

I am often frustrated with simple tasks or challenged beyond my coping ability when something stops working, most often something of the technical variety. For me it's usually the computer.

Hard to imagine that for my friend, a very active 90 year old, I am her 'Go To' person for such things.. For the most part, I can help her out, though there was that one time I had to call my daughter, my 'Go To" source for technical help.

I was getting ready to go to lunch yesterday when my friend appeared at my door in a real frazzle. Her phone had a constant busy signal, and her personal alarm was flashing, and not working. For someone living alone, these are her life lines.

If I hadn't been aware of my other friend coming any minute, I might have thought things through better, but that's part of my disease process, not being able to do the quick thinking and respond appropriately.

I checked her phone, and found a busy signal. We checked all the connections and all were secure.

I had the bright, and useless, idea to try her phone in the wall jack, rather than the modem. Of course it didn't work as the wall jacks are old Bell Telephone lines and we use Cogeco, the cable company through the modem. A waste of time.

My friend is now sitting in the car out front.

I wonder if it's her phone, maybe the actual phone is no longer working, in which case she would need a new one..

"What about your cell?" I ask.

She shows me the phone, a very simple model that is dark and dead. When I ask about the charger, I'm told it's in the closet, and I shake my head, but hold my tongue. I explain that the battery on her phone loses charge, even if she doesn't use it and still needs to be charged.

Now, I'm in a frustrated dither because I'm keeping my friend waiting. I decide to hook my phone up at her place so she has a phone at least, and promise I'll check it all later. She doubts this action as she thinks it will be my number, but I explain that the number is not in the phone itself, but in the line.

So I run back home, across the walkway, unhook my phone and re-hook it up at her place.. No busy signal, no anything.

I can't deal with this anymore, the self imposed stress of trying to think and do, with the added pressure of having to be somewhere else. I leave her and tell her "I'll be back."

I calm down over lunch and come back, thinking more clearly. The stress was hard on my friend, I found her worn out and napping in her chair. To give her her due, she is sick right now and not feeling at all like herself.

I take her cable bill and my phone back home and call the cable company. Well. lo and behold, they are having technical difficulties with their digital phone lines. They gave instructions to do something to the modem and see if it corrects itself.

I go back across the path, and we grab a flashlight and try to find this tiny hole in the back of the modem the voice told me about. Of course, her modem is on the bottom shelf of her bookcase. She gets down on her hands and knees, because my knee wouldn't allow me to put the pressure on the joint and once down, my back would not help me get back up.

We poke the hole as directed and we have phone service. All is well.

I am now totally drained and take a three hour nap.

But, I have to say, being able to help my friend gave me a good feeling, my good deed for the day.

My To Do List for the Day

Finally, after almost a month of suffering with back issues, I seem to be moving better, back to my norm. I still can't stand for more than a few minutes, but am moving around better, not waking up and worrying if I can make it to the bathroom.

I got a bit carried away with my new status, as I'm tired of seeing the mess that has accumulated for the last month when I've been able to do dishes and that's about it. I badly need to vacuum, and that was first on my list for yesterday.

I love lists, but never seem to start at the top.

Before I got to the vacuuming I decided to clean out the stacked set of drawers that serve as my bedside table. As I crochet in bed, little bits of yarn get scattered about, and I swear they were all tangled around the casters of this bedside table. That's where I started. Luckily the casters came off, to make cleaning easier, and once I removed all the drawers I set to cleaning the frame, one section at a time.

I sat to do this chore, and it went smoothly until I scrubbed a spot and was too enthusiastic, hitting myself in the nose and mouth. One job done, drawers cleaned and organized, caster free wheeling.

Next I decided to dust my many bookcases before vacuuming. That was delayed because I wanted to reorganize, pulling the books off the shelves that I was deleting from my collection. There were too many books (not that I think you can have too many books, just too little space) crammed into every cranny.

Because of the back situation, I had to take frequent rest periods to prevent a repeat of last month. While I was resting I picked up one of those books from the 'to get rid of' pile and started to read.

Need I say more. Now today is my day to vacuum, first on my list.

Back to Back

Time has passed and as much as I'd like to say my back has improved, that I'm walking with ease, it just ain't happening. My bad back and I are together for the long haul.

I saw one of those commercials on TV about laser back surgery, and I have to admit it crossed my mind. How wonderful it would be to go in, have a quick bit of surgery and walk out pain free.

It must have been in the back of my mind when I saw the doctor on Friday. I asked about a new MRI, thinking maybe something could be done for my back. She said no. There was nothing to be done, to many degenerative discs, pinched nerves, arthritis. Not something to be done by a quick in and out.

I realize the things that cause me problems, like lifting anything over 18-20 pounds. It doesn't help that my walker weighs 24 lbs. and I lift it in and out every time I go out.

I am making an investment in a new mattress, hoping that will make it better for me in the mornings, that it won't take me most of the day to get moving. I am definitely not a morning person.

One thing I have noticed, is how much dust and dirt accumulates in three weeks. I have been unable to do even the most basic housekeeping. The dishes is all I've accomplished, and that is only because I've had basic meals and used paper plates.

If it could just get a little bit better, that's not asking for much, is it?

Oy, My Aching Back

I made it through the week, feeling a slow, but sure return to some easier mobility. Had my shower and felt better, almost human.

Human enough to try for a trip to the store, my refrigerator had never been so empty. I made it around the store, using the cart like a walker, leaning on it quite heavily by the time I made it to check out.

The night was rough, the pain I usually feel on standing and sitting plagued me in bed, making it difficult to turn and find a comfortable position.

I'm trying to keep moving, up walking, sitting in my chair, stretching out flat in the bed. I'm taking Advil at its maximum daily dose, for the pain and the anti-inflammatory effect, and hope this will soon pass. I will never be totally free from back pain, but this exacerbation is hard to manage.

I had an MRI done a few years ago, and my doctor's words on seeing the report..."Your back is a mess".

I can't agree more.

And why is it that when your back hurts you get clumsy and drop things, or need things on the very top or bottom shelves? I need to vacuum, but that will have to wait. It will be enough to get the garbage to the curb tomorrow, and if I don't get some laundry done soon I'll be in dire straits.

Day by day, that's how it's given so that's how I'll take it.

Back Pain and More Back Pain

What day is it? I seem to be all confused, which often happens after a long weekend, but this time my week has been turned upside down because of debilitating pain.

I woke up Tuesday morning and could barely stand, stumbled into the bathroom but then could not stand at all. If not for the sink close by, I may have just fallen to the floor from having to sit so long. (Toilets are not comfortable).

I made it back to bed in a semi standing stance, using the door frame, furniture to keep me upright. Let me just say, it was a rough day. I made it over to my walker and used it to support myself, something I have never had to do inside before.

I was relatively comfortable as long as I was lying down, but to stand or sit, I was in such pain. All of that day and most of the next were spent in bed, and I am getting so tired of being in bed, inside and not able to function.

Today, I managed to get a shower, though I had my doubts it was going to happen when the first challenge was to lift my leg over the edge of the tub. It was difficult, but the hot water felt great and I got it done. I actually feel somewhat human again.

But I've been in my chair for a few minutes, on the computer, checking e-mails and such, and I can feel the pain start again. I best get some breakfast while I can. Meals have not been a priority these last few days but I need to take my medication with food.

I have coped with the bad knee, the Multiple Sclerosis, but this back pain affects everything I do. It hampers my mobility more than the MS.

I wish I had taken better care of my back when I was younger, but then youth gives us a sense of invincibility, that we can do anything. Unfortunately, we pay for that 'anything' later in life.

Does Absence Make the Heart Fonder?

Funny, exactly a month today since I posted last. I'd like to say I was busy as anything, maybe off on vacation, but alas, not happening.

In the ongoing saga of the new meds, I was doing a very gradual increase and it wasn't working. Instead of increasing each week until I was on four pills. twice a day, I increased just the evening dose and stayed there for awhile.

I feel like I lost time, feeling so tired all the time, fuzzy headed and my balance was worse, giving me a few near falls.

I decided to cut back to one pill, twice a day. I also went back on the B vitamins and vitamin D. All that has given me a bit of more energy, cleared my thinking a bit.

The nerve pain that has plagued me at night is still in control.

So, all in all it's a win win for me. I need one of those as I struggle with the ongoing progression of my disease.

It is what it is, we take it one day at a time, just the way it's given to us.

Ain't No Twinkle Toes

Have you ever had those spasms in your toes where each toe is going in a different direction? I get them frequently, and was lying down, felt my toes tense and looked down.

On the right foot, the big toe was down and to the left, the other toes normal. On the left foot four toes were bending down, the big toe in a normal position.

Sometimes when I have these spasm they have been very painful. Not too long ago I had a bad episode, and had to press my foot flat on the cooler bathroom floor for some relief. Other times, I know it's happening, but there is little to no pain.

I wonder if the fact it's been less painful is due to the medication I've been on for nerve pain. Since I started I've had less pain in my feet at night, and in my lower legs. The stabbing pain in my fingers is gone, though it seems to have moved down to my foot, at the base of my big toe.

I haven't increased the medication as the doctor had ordered. And, yes, I know self medicating is not smart, but I can't afford to increase the dosage if it would increase my dizziness and balance issues.

Had that spasm again to my feet. You'd think it would be the same on both sides, in sync so to speak, but it makes me laugh to see my toes all going in different direction.

At least I can still laugh about it all. Today at least.

Garbage Day Get Up and GO

I felt like a train wreck this morning, after the day of vacuuming yesterday, barely made it to the bathroom and back to bed for a little more sleep.

But it's Monday, garbage day, so I had to get up. I gathered the bags of recycling, the 'wet' garbage, found my shoes and cane and opened the door. The first few steps were hesitant, but then it got easier, the further I went.

It's  a beautiful sunny day out there. I looked at my garden with the thriving Hostas, my pots not so healthy.

As busy as I've been the last couple of weeks, the watering has been hit and miss. I lost one, not from a lack of water, but from over watering. Apparently there was a piece of plastic in the bottom of the pot that would not let the water drain, and as this pot was in a position to get the rain, the roots were soaked and rotten.

I need to replace it, as I miss the color.

My neighbor just visited, a catch up from the weekend. It's one of the nicest things about living here, neighbors who visit and watch out for each other.

Maybe I'll be up for a little walk later, to the common room, to do my laundry. Now that is the one downfall here, especially in winter. But like life, you have to balance the good with the bad, and hope the good comes out ahead.

Hating Housework

We're a week and a day since my daughter's supposedly surprise party, and I had hoped to get back to a more normal and less stressful, less anxiety driven week.

It started out on Monday with an out of town trip to meet one of my oldest friends for lunch. This is something we'd hoped to do on a more regular basis but it just hasn't happened. I managed to get through a side trip to Michael's, the craft store, as it's been awhile and I needed the fix.

There was a dinner at the restaurant for family that night as it was her actual birthday, and I got through that, my energy draining quickly and knew I was going to crash once I got home.

The next day I drove out of town to pick up two of my grandchildren, as their parents were working. Thank goodness for the internet, though I really don't approve of that as a babysitter, any more than I liked using television in my day. We had lunch on our way back to my place, and a stop at the store, thinking ahead as I had slave labor to carry stuff.

I set my granddaughter up to do a craft, painting rocks, while my grandson played on his tablet.

The next day my daughter dropped over. By Thursday it was lock the doors, and pull the covers over my head as I needed some recovery time. I basically slept off and on for the whole day

Friday would have been the same but I'd promised a trip out to my son's to check on the kittens as they were away.

I had managed no housework over the past two weeks, to stressed and worn out with party preparations, so decided I would clean at least the bathroom before i went to check on the cats.

Saturday I was given a chance to spend time with another granddaughter and we did craft stuff all afternoon, and when she left I was done in, but had stuff now to pick up and cleaning to be done. I decided I would do it Sunday.

Finally, I have the vacuuming done, though not a perfect job, better than it was. I could only do a small section at a time, (I mean small as I have a studio type apartment), before I had to lie down because of back pain. Three applications of analgesic balm, two doses of Tylenol and about four short lie downs and it's done. And I am exhausted.

I see the dust on the shelves, but that will have to wait for another day, my body'd had all it can take. I wanted to nap, but as I skipped lunch I was afraid I'd sleep through dinner. It's in the oven and the timer had gone, so it's dinner and back to lying down.

Please can tomorrow be a quiet day.

No More Crazy

I had to put aside that episode on Wednesday and carry on, too many things to do.

It's my daughter's birthday today, but the big party was Saturday, and I was doing decorations, the ice cream cake and making a salad.

The long naps became a habit and left me with sleepless nights, which of course lead to fatigue filled days. But on a positive note, I stayed rooted in the here and now, and did not skip a day, though all day Friday I thought it was Saturday.

The party was fun, lots of visiting with friends, the kids running around being kids and good food to top it all off.

Happy Birthday to my first born, my daughter, here's wishing you all the best life has to offer.

What's Going On?

Let me say first off that it's been a very emotional and physically wearing few days. I've been out, and busy every day, in the hot weather and that doesn't help. As I got in the car the last time today I had difficulty lifting my leg up to get in the car and could feel a weakness in my legs. I knew I wouldn't be able to walk much farther.

I don't remember much of coming home, except I needed to lie down, which I obviously did, and really crashed.

When I woke up I was totally disoriented, saw the clock said 5:40 and thought, wow, did I ever sleep, thinking it was morning. I leaned over and grabbed my medication container and took the A.M. dose and got up to the bathroom.

I felt fairly awake, and the TV was on, so I decided to watch something and maybe fall back asleep. That was when I first realized that it was not morning. I guess the fact I was fully dressed, the drapes were open and the TV was on wasn't enough.

I wondered, as I went through the channel listings, when they'd changed their shows, as I was seeing shows not normally available at 5 in the morning. Noticed the time on the channel listings was 5-6 PM and finally got a clue.

Boy, those deep, hard sleeps that come from overdoing can be tough. I don't think I've ever woken from one quite as disoriented as today. The second dose of my daily meds shouldn't be a problem and I can laugh now at how silly I was.

Looking forward to tomorrow, and nothing to do.

First Week Completed

I made it through the first week of the new medication, the one for nerve pain. Has it helped? I'd say yes...except...I have some dizziness that means I have to move slow, no sudden changes, especially if turning or bending down.

I was to double the dose yesterday, but decided to take some caution. I doubled the evening dose, and kept the day time dose the same. That way, if I'm busy, going out, driving whatever, I'll not be risking things by having my balance off even more.

Had the eye teat for peripheral vision, have to repeat the right eye again, same as last year. Maybe it takes me that long to get the gist of it. I feel like I'm in an arcade shooting the ducks, except there's a brain delay between what I see and when my brain recognizes it. I always felt like I was a step behind.

Left eye was good. If I lose the peripheral is my driving license in jeopardy? Time will tell.