Feeling Foolish

My friend was just visiting, and I told her as she was leaving that I wasn’t getting up to see her to the door. I did that last week when she was here and in turning, or something, supposedly pulled a muscle in my chest.

I had pain to the right of my sternum, just below my right breast, a continuous ache, sometimes relieved by lying down, but constant enough to be wearing, physically and emotionally.

I am used to having chronic pain, but this new pain was different; I’m not comfortable sitting, and nothing I did seemed to give me relief. By Thursday last week I was really feeling ill, fuzzy head, balance off, unable to think or concentrate.

I feel foolish; because I let this kind of get to me...anxiety is my new middle name. The new pills were doing a great job; I had been feeling so much better. I was not supposed to be feeling like this. And to be honest, I wasn’t thinking I was anxious, I just wanted the pain to stop.

Word of warning, the emergency department is not where you want to be on a full moon. We were five hours, and other than the initial cardiogram, no one spoke to us in all that time. When the doctor finally came in I was told the EKG and the blood work were fine, I was given a pain pill and came home.

The only highlight of the whole day was the uninterrupted visit I had with my son. I just wish the setting had been better.

So, here we are on Monday, and I’m still in pain. I guess with my age and condition everything takes longer to heal. I know with the MS my muscles are weaker, and that would include chest muscles as I find it harder to sit any length of time without head and neck support.

I hear my bed beckoning; I’ve sat long enough and need to lie down.