A Case of Disorientation

After a busy day at home on Sunday, shredding a year's worth of files, crocheting and cleaning up for garbage day Monday, I was tired, but still willing to go shopping Monday.

My friend and I drove the 50 KM into the city, had lunch (sitting on hard wooden benches) and shopped at Costco. Needless to say, I paid the price. By the time I was in the checkout line I needed the cart to lean on as my back was sore.

Gluttons for punishment, we hit two more shops on our drive home. I was hot, tired and in pain, figured a nap was in my immediate future.

Silly me, I fought through it, though at times it was a struggle. I ended up in bed to watch the Blue Jays game, and do remember that they won the game, but nothing much after that.

When I woke up, stiff and a little dazed, I looked at the clock. Eleven thirty. Eleven thirty! My immediate thought was morning, and I couldn't believe I had slept for the night and most of the morning. I felt like I was pulling myself out of a dungeon, I had slept so deep and sound.

Then I realized it was night, and I had slept, like the dead, for less than two hours. All this confusion and I couldn't go back to sleep, as tired as I was. So I played a few games of solitaire on the computer, read some of my bedside book and watched some television.

I finally settled to sleep, somewhere close to five A.M. and am now up, still feeling dazed.

Today, when the fatigue hits, I'm going to be smart and take a short nap and hope for a better night's sleep.

Good Neighbors

I'm sitting here listening to the spray and spatter of my neighbor's hose. She's watering my garden, which would otherwise be sadly neglected.

It's been too hot for me to think, let alone go out to weed and water.

My neighbor is in her eighties, and I see her walking about, with a cane though she doesn't use it in a real supportive way. The watering she does is from a distance, with her hose, and though the plants are doing well, the pots I have in the garden are not. That long distance watering is not enough, and even if we got a rain, the overhang would protect.

It's a little disconcerting that my two neighbors, both in their late eighties, are much more spry and mobile than I am. The one walks from here, four blocks through downtown to the drugstore. Some days it's a challenge for me to get up, or get to my car, let alone do a long walk.

I'm up, showered, dressed, and already worn out. I have two hours before a friend picks me up to go to lunch. I'll tire quickly as I had a busy day yesterday, by my standards.

I finished some crochet projects, cleaned out my files and did some shredding. Ok, a lot of shredding. I have some to finish this morning before I set the bag out for the garbage. I'm sure my shared wall neighbor will be glad, though if he complained, and he's the sort who would, I can remind him of the sound of his blender. Smoothies are so popular.

Tomorrow will be another do nothing day.

Off Balance

I figure it's this continued hot weather, but my balance is really off. I seem to be doing this solo dance routine, you know, one step forward, to the side and back. Lucky for me, I'm not moving very fast so I can recover.

It's the backward sway that gets me. For example, I stand up from leaning over the sink and sway back, my sense of vertical off kilter.

I've slammed back into the bookcase, or the door a few times, but no fall.

This backward sway also happens when I close my eyes. I can't maintain the vertical if I can't see the horizon, so to speak, to know where I am.

In the shower, when I have to close my eyes, I keep my elbow touching the wall, so I can keep my balance.

Just as I keep a light on, in case I have to get up in the night. I'm tired and don't need the extra challenge to stand, and stay standing.

The least little activity, and I'm overheated, which means brain fog, muscle weakness and more fatigue.

Needless to say, I anxiously await the end of summer.

Dredging Up the Energy

I've just had my shower and am resting, in my chair, answering E Mails and checking out my blog sites, Facebook, you know the usual. My bed is calling me but I have to resist.

I need to pick up my prescription, and though I don't want to go out, I must. I'm seriously giving thought to changing pharmacies, especially with winter looming in the not so distant future.

I chose the Walmart Pharmacy because I could get my meds, my groceries and my craft supplies all in one stop shopping. It seemed more efficient than having to visit multiple stores.

But, Shoppers Drug Mart has a delivery service, and that might be more convenient. I can still get out for groceries, or have one of the kids pick me up the essentials if need be.

Best get it done today, as the Humidex is slated to be 38 degrees C. tomorrow, and that is too hot for me to be walking about.

I had hoped the cooler weather would stay a bit longer, I was just getting a bit of my energy back, had actually accomplished a few lingering chores.

The hot spell better not last long, my one fan has refused to turn on, and I was just getting used to the silence. Oh well, the end is in sight.

Crash, Crash and More Crash

After a very busy start to the week, I fully expected to have a crash day. Thursday was a blur, as I slept most of the day, and when awake, felt like I was in a daze.

One day, and I should have felt rested. Had an errand to run on Friday, and found one day was not enough. I felt lightheaded in the store, my knees weak, and I knew my crash was not done. As I was to drive my granddaughter to work, we went for lunch first, as I hoped food would revive me.

By the time I was home, I was terribly overheated, still sweating, which was a good thing, as you sweat in heat exhaustion, no sweat in heat stroke. But my face was hot and dry, so I put a cold cloth across the back of my neck and sat in front of the fan until I cooled off.

Since then, I have done nothing but sleep.

Bad combination for me, activity and the heat. This is the third year that we have had extended periods of hot weather, the third summer I've felt like a prisoner in my own home.

My garden, which looked so pretty in the spring, looks horrible. My neighbor has been watering, but not enough to give the pots a soak, and let's be honest, the sun and heat have done the damage, just as the lawns are burnt and brown.

If we have an Indian Summer, will it be comfortable 'normal' summer temperatures. I hope I can make the most of it before the winter comes.

Give Me a Day...and I'll Remember

Give me a day and I'll remember. Sounds funny, but it's true. Twice this week, in conversation, I was stuck trying to remember a name, of a person and a then a place.

Don't you hate when that happens?

My brain frequently seems to be on a 24 hour delay. After talking to my son on Wednesday, and unable to remember this woman's name, it came to me, out of the blue, while I was playing a computer game the next day. Brain delay.

Yesterday, out for lunch with a friend and my granddaughter, we got to talking burgers. I said the best burgers were from a place in TO called Magoo's. The name of the restaurant came to me, but not the name of the grocery store in the same plaza where my daughter worked as a teen.

This morning, lying in bed, contemplating getting up, it came to me...Bruno's.

Bruno's was the name of the store where she worked.

This happens to me frequently, these ha ha moments, where my brain finally kicks in and completes a thought. Oh well, at least I finally remembered.

A day late, and a dollar short. Isn't that some old saying? Seemed appropriate.

"A Wreck on a Wreck"

It's funny how often movie quotes work in real life, and need no further explanation, if others have seen the film, of course.

One of my favorite movies is 'Unstoppable'. It's the story of a train, initially thought to be a coaster, but is underway with no driver or conductor (through one employees stupid actions). They need to stop it, as it's gaining speed and heading for a populated area, with multiple cars loaded with toxic and flammable material.

The extra danger is that as it enters the city, the tracks have a major curve, on an elevated ell, positioned over fuel storage tanks. Could there be any other word to describe it but disaster?

And, just in case you thought this was a made up story for the movies, it was based on a real event in Pennsylvania.

Our heroes, a driver and conductor, drop the cars they were moving in a safe place and take off, going in reverse, after the break away train, hoping to connect to it from the rear, and by applying their brakes, slow the runaway train down.

There are exciting scenes as the management try to stop the train, but as we all know, yuo have to work the job to know the best way to deal with the problem. So their efforts failed.

Back to movie lines. Denzel Washington is the driver of the train, racing in reverse. His partner, the conductor, asks what will happen if they continue as they are, and the attempt to derail the runaway train is successful.

Here it is..."Then we're a wreck on a wreck".

Love that line, and to make a long story short, that's how I feel today.

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away

We finally got some rain, and it was a downpour, but too late to save the grass I'm thinking.

It has been hot and humid for almost two months, since the end of June, I think. The time has passed, in a blur, in a fog, with me in a brain fog. I've managed a few episodes of activity, but most of my days and nights have passed by with me in a daze, in a continual sweat.

All the things I've wanted to do this summer have been set aside, because of this heat. And, with my MS, I'm more susceptible in hot weather and face the worsening of my symptoms as a result.

I had to start using the cane in the house, as my balance was off and I had a close number of near falls. My neighbor has been watering my garden, but the pots look terrible, the leaves gone yellow like the grass, from too much heat and sun, I suppose. I haven't been able to do the deadheading of late, too dizzy bending over the pots, too hot to stay out that long.

With no air conditioning, if I use the stove, my place heats up. I swear, by the thermometer on the wall, it has not been below 84 degrees F. in weeks. So my diet has been terrible. And forget getting anything done, like dishes, or laundry.

The dehumidifier runs all day. I turn it off at night because with two fans going, I can't stand any more noise. When I turn it on in the morning, it reads over 60%, and takes hours to lower, and yet I've not emptied the bin, so what is that all about. Evaporation because of the heat?

Better go and get the dishes done, they've been soaking for the last hour, and they soaked most of yesterday already. It feels more comfortable after the rain, I better take advantage while I can.

Should of Known Better

Had lunch with my brother on Tuesday, and the spot where we meet (at a half way point) has wooden benches. After a few hours of sitting, l felt stiff, but didn't really feel the pain until later.

We're not the brightest of people, and I mean we. After leaving the restaurant we sat outside on a cement wall for another 45 minutes. Cement...hard as hell...outside...hot as hell. But then why am I surprised, we do the same, standing, not sitting on cement, in the winter.

I think we have to find some cure for this long goodbye. It's just that we don't get together that often and there seems so much to talk about.

I made my obligatory stop at Michael's Craft Store and was a little slow getting back to the car. I stopped at a Tim's for a bathroom break and a cold drink. I could have waited until I got to my daughter's, except I'd have to do the stairs to get to the bathroom and I knew it was going to be tough. So I went where it was all on one level.

By the time I got home, I could barely walk, and if it hadn't been so hot and humid already, it would have been a heating pad night.

Yesterday I could barely move, and forget bending. I rested, napped, and did nothing.

Today I'm much better. If this is the price I pay for a great lunch, so be it. Though I may start travelling with a OBUS form, and save myself some of this pain.