"A Wreck on a Wreck"

It's funny how often movie quotes work in real life, and need no further explanation, if others have seen the film, of course.

One of my favorite movies is 'Unstoppable'. It's the story of a train, initially thought to be a coaster, but is underway with no driver or conductor (through one employees stupid actions). They need to stop it, as it's gaining speed and heading for a populated area, with multiple cars loaded with toxic and flammable material.

The extra danger is that as it enters the city, the tracks have a major curve, on an elevated ell, positioned over fuel storage tanks. Could there be any other word to describe it but disaster?

And, just in case you thought this was a made up story for the movies, it was based on a real event in Pennsylvania.

Our heroes, a driver and conductor, drop the cars they were moving in a safe place and take off, going in reverse, after the break away train, hoping to connect to it from the rear, and by applying their brakes, slow the runaway train down.

There are exciting scenes as the management try to stop the train, but as we all know, yuo have to work the job to know the best way to deal with the problem. So their efforts failed.

Back to movie lines. Denzel Washington is the driver of the train, racing in reverse. His partner, the conductor, asks what will happen if they continue as they are, and the attempt to derail the runaway train is successful.

Here it is..."Then we're a wreck on a wreck".

Love that line, and to make a long story short, that's how I feel today.

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away

We finally got some rain, and it was a downpour, but too late to save the grass I'm thinking.

It has been hot and humid for almost two months, since the end of June, I think. The time has passed, in a blur, in a fog, with me in a brain fog. I've managed a few episodes of activity, but most of my days and nights have passed by with me in a daze, in a continual sweat.

All the things I've wanted to do this summer have been set aside, because of this heat. And, with my MS, I'm more susceptible in hot weather and face the worsening of my symptoms as a result.

I had to start using the cane in the house, as my balance was off and I had a close number of near falls. My neighbor has been watering my garden, but the pots look terrible, the leaves gone yellow like the grass, from too much heat and sun, I suppose. I haven't been able to do the deadheading of late, too dizzy bending over the pots, too hot to stay out that long.

With no air conditioning, if I use the stove, my place heats up. I swear, by the thermometer on the wall, it has not been below 84 degrees F. in weeks. So my diet has been terrible. And forget getting anything done, like dishes, or laundry.

The dehumidifier runs all day. I turn it off at night because with two fans going, I can't stand any more noise. When I turn it on in the morning, it reads over 60%, and takes hours to lower, and yet I've not emptied the bin, so what is that all about. Evaporation because of the heat?

Better go and get the dishes done, they've been soaking for the last hour, and they soaked most of yesterday already. It feels more comfortable after the rain, I better take advantage while I can.

Should of Known Better

Had lunch with my brother on Tuesday, and the spot where we meet (at a half way point) has wooden benches. After a few hours of sitting, l felt stiff, but didn't really feel the pain until later.

We're not the brightest of people, and I mean we. After leaving the restaurant we sat outside on a cement wall for another 45 minutes. Cement...hard as hell...outside...hot as hell. But then why am I surprised, we do the same, standing, not sitting on cement, in the winter.

I think we have to find some cure for this long goodbye. It's just that we don't get together that often and there seems so much to talk about.

I made my obligatory stop at Michael's Craft Store and was a little slow getting back to the car. I stopped at a Tim's for a bathroom break and a cold drink. I could have waited until I got to my daughter's, except I'd have to do the stairs to get to the bathroom and I knew it was going to be tough. So I went where it was all on one level.

By the time I got home, I could barely walk, and if it hadn't been so hot and humid already, it would have been a heating pad night.

Yesterday I could barely move, and forget bending. I rested, napped, and did nothing.

Today I'm much better. If this is the price I pay for a great lunch, so be it. Though I may start travelling with a OBUS form, and save myself some of this pain.

Momentary Relief

For two nights I've had a great sleep,  and woke to a cool breeze blowing in the window that had me reaching for the cover. It felt great, but was short lived.

Hours later, I can feel the heat and humidity building, so another day spent indoors, with the constant whir of the fan.

I know a great deal of the fan stuff is mind over matter. The fan is blowing the same hot air that I'm trying to escape, but the fact it's moving makes it seem cooler. At this point I'll take whatever I can get.

As I'm inside, I'm taking the time to watch the ball game. Go Jays! Somehow, I've become a baseball fan. I also watched the tennis matches from Toronto, the Rogers Cup. I'm sitting here, doing nothing, and these guys manage to run and be in constant motion in this heat. That is true dedication.

I keep telling myself it can't last forever, and fall will come with all its colors and cooler weather. I look forward to that and no further, not to the ice and snow that will inevitably follow.

We're never happy, are we? It's too hot, it's too dry, it's too wet, it's too cold. But then, if we didn't have the weather to bitch about, what is there? Oh yeah, politics, but I'm not going there.

Humidex Blues

Hot and humid, hot and humid, hot and humid. I am so sick of hot and humid weather.

I run my dehumidifier most days, a necessity as my place is built on a poured cement foundation, and can be damp. A neighbor said she was told to close all her windows, or she was just taking the moisture out of the hot air outside.

I tried closing everything up, and it took a complete day to get the humidity from 60% down to 48%. And it was like a sauna in here, inside temperature was 84 F. When I was outside, it felt cooler out than in, so the hell with it, I opened the windows and let the air blow, with a nice cross breeze.

I finally ventured out today, but it really took its toll, I was exhausted when I got home, positioned the fan and laid back in my recliner to watch the Blue Jay game (fell asleep and missed the end).

Now it's raining, but just a light drizzle, not enough to bring back the green of the grass.

I may have to give in and get a window air conditioner if we continue to have summers like this. I can't see how it can last much longer, and hope August will be an easier month.

Meanwhile, all this ladylike glowing I've been doing seems to make my skin nice and soft. Always look for the positive.

A Trip to the Beach

I ventured out the other day with my daughter and two of her kids, a trip to the beach to collect driftwood for a craft project.

I normally avoid the sun and the heat,but my new positive thinking had me wanting to give it a try. I actually managed to get through the sand to the shore, and could put my toes in the water. Someone had moved a picnic table near the water, so I sat and watched the kids. (Walkers don't move well in the sand).

I discovered that walking in sand is not good for my knee. Either was the bending down to pick up wood. You think you have a firm step, but it shifts on the sand, and adds another little twist to the knee. My one knee is bad, the cartilage completely worn away, so all these little extra shifts cause the bones to rub, and me more pain.

Here it is two days later and I am still hobbling around. Yesterday was a lost day due to pain, and a headache from being out in the sun. The hot weather and humidity continue, in spite of the rain, so I shall stay home and inside.

It's like living in a cave, curtains closed against the sun, trying to keep out the heat, my energy drained, so no ambition to go anywhere, do anything.

We're not even mid July, this can't last too much longer, can it? We need rain so badly. Our usual nice green landscape is nonexistent, with lawns burnt to a crispy brown,

I'll give the knee another day of rest, and maybe we'll have some rain to give the humidity a rest. I have a pile of books to read and some yarn, so I'm happy.

Finding Balance

I've been particularly active, for me, but it comes at a cost. I need today to rest, and do nothing. I see a nap in my future, maybe while watching the ball game later.

I picked up my grandkids from the bus on their last two days of school. The first day we came back to town and had dinner out, did some shopping (we all love the dollar store) and waited here for their parents to pick them up. The next day we stayed at their place and ate out, again, to celebrate the end of another school year.

A day of rest followed, sort of, as I made a quick trip to the store and then walked over to the main building to do a couple of loads of laundry. I will admit I crashed when I came home, left the folded laundry in the basket, on my walker, too tired to put things away.

Yesterday, I spent the day with another granddaughter, some one-on-one time we haven't had for awhile. She wanted to bake, something we always used to do together, and we settled for a no bake dessert (her favorite) and making coated pretzels. Both of these are treats I usually make at the holidays, but there's nothing wrong with a Christmas sweet in July.

Today is crash day. I'm not leaving the house. I took my diuretic, having missed a few days this week, and I'm getting rid of copious amounts of retained fluid.

The thing with being busy, socially, is that I need these down days, and I have no energy for anything else. And the anything else is something creative. I have itchy fingers, want to paint, have had this idea swirling around in my head all week.

I need to find some balance, so I don't have to give up any of these important things. The grandchildren are growing up so fast, one going to university in the fall, another in her second year of  high school. All of them are involved with friends and activities, so I grab some time when I can.

I know these years with them are precious, and I should give them all of my attention. The sad thing is, my time, or at least my time to create, is limited, and being creative is like breathing to me.

So, we need to find some balance: family, rest and creativity. Isn't it nice that some of these kids are into crafts. I have so much I'd love to teach them, share with them. And then I'll nap.