Bad Day Rising

I had a sense, as I dragged myself from sleep that it was not going to be a good day. I had that dull ache in my head, fuzzy like a hangover. I was surprised to see the time, and knew I had slept long and deep.

As I got out of bed, my knees almost buckled with the pain in my lower back. I struggled to the bathroom, and back to bed, for a rest on the heating pad. But I couldn’t stay in bed forever.

I was trying to think of what I had done the day before to warrant the back pain today, and other than working on my painting, I had really done nothing. So maybe it was the standing, and bending over the small table I use as a work space. I definitely need to consider getting that bar height table.

Of course, it just goes that when you are in pain, the rest of your movements become clumsy. I was looking for my scissors, and as is my way when knee deep in a project, have too many little piles of paper and such on all available surfaces. I knocked the remote off the table and saw something black go under the fridge. Really?

I used the dry mop to try and reach under, but to no avail. There was no other choice but to get down on my hands and knees. A Herculean task on a good day.

I grabbed a long handled wooden spoon and used the stool to ease myself down. My bad knee does not do well with this action, but at the moment, the back was worse. I leaned down, used the spoon and out came a black pen. But all is not lost; from this vantage point I see the remote under the chair.

It was a struggle, but I got back up, to standing. Moving was something else. I managed to fall into my chair, and here I sit, gathering courage to get up and make my way back to bed and my heating pad.

I want to work on the painting, but it will have to wait a while. Besides, I haven’t found my scissors yet.

Three Simple Questions

My daughter called this morning, and asked me three simple questions. The answer to these questions would determine whether or not she asked me for a favor.

“Are you up?”

“Are you dressed?”

“Are you mobile?”

Regarding the first question. It was after eleven o’clock, and I’m usually up. But, on too many days, I will admit I’m not long from my bed, or on a bad day heading back for a rest. A valid question, for sure.

As to being dressed, that’s iffy. If I’m going out, yes, I’m dressed. If I’m home for the day, I wear my ratty old T-shirt and sloppy pants. I’ve learned that’s a wise move as I have ruined far too many nice things by getting into an art project before I changing into my grubbies. As I was deep into art already this morning, I was dressed, sort of.

Then there’s the big question, regarding my mobility. I was feeling that awkward and stiff way of walking, but that’s normal for around the house as I don’t use the cane or walker indoors. Mobility these days is good or bad, depending on my level of fatigue and pain. Today the back pain is at a low level and I had a good night’s sleep, hence the early morning painting.

The favor was to pick up my granddaughter from school, keep her for an hour until her Mom could meet us for the girl’s doctor appointment. As I relish the opportunity for some one-to-one with her, I would have agreed, regardless.

It was a beautiful, sunny fall day, (at the time), and too nice to spend indoors. Lunch out sounded like a great idea.

Slow Moving

I have a tough time getting going in the morning, usually due to back pain. The good thing is, after a while, the old bones seem to loosen up and my movement is better, not the best, but better.

It never fails that, when my back is at its worst, I get clumsy and drop things. Why is that? Like I need to bend over and be reminded that my back hurts.

Being Monday, its garbage day and a day I usually try to get some housework done. I’ve not had a very productive start so far. After gathering the garbage and recycling in the kitchen, I set it by the door and sat in my chair for a moment’s rest before venturing out to the curb.

I did manage to vacuum a few days ago, but didn’t get to the damp mopping, or the dusting. As I look around, I need to do some pick-up first. As much as I don’t like getting the Christmas decorations out until the first of December, my place has a festive look.

Teacher gifts I’m making for the grandchildren’s teachers and presents for the family gaily wrapped in red and white paper cover all the surfaces. And then there’s the ottoman I use as a wrapping station with the paper, tape dispenser, scissors and stick-on labels.

The gifts will go to my son’s house, as that is where we’ll be having our Christmas celebration. The paper I’ll put away when the wrapping is done. Then I’ll have some of my space back.

Maybe the damp mop and dusting can wait a few more days. I have some clean up and organizing to do first, at slow speed.

Fall Cleanup

I can finally say I have my garden done and prepared for winter. I had to do a bit of research first, as I wasn’t sure about the care of the hosta I have in my small garden. I hoped the garden experts would say cut it down, as I didn’t do that last year and it looked horrible after the frost.

I started to cut it on Saturday, managed to rake and bag some of the leaves and got 3 of the 4 hosta plants trimmed before I was near collapse. I got dizzy, light headed, and with my current balance issues, not a good state. Maybe it was due to all that blood rushing to my head when I was bent over to cut the stalks.

I left the last plant, hoping to get to it the next day, but after the long nap I had on the heating pad after my first venture, I took Sunday off. Today I managed to cut the last one, gather a few more leaves the wind blew my way, and moved my plant stand from the porch to the garden for winter storage.

I hate the look of all these empty stands, once full of summer bloom. I want to fill them all with winter greenery, and some solar lights to brighten the space. I think about this every year, a Christmas or winter outdoor arrangement, and never get it done.

I know the reason for my ongoing failure. It goes back to that independence thing. I want to be able to get my own greenery, like when on a walk through the countryside. But walking through the uneven grounds in the woods is risky for me. Maybe I should be content with a few cedar boughs, as there are trees at the edge of the property here.

Worst case scenario, I hit the garden store before they close and buy an arrangement. Why deny myself the pleasure of some color, some brightness and cheer in my winter landscape?

This is the year it will get done. I’m determined.

Making Things Easier

I’ve talked before about my difficulty asking for help. It’s a problem many people have as they age, or as disease takes a toll on their body and their abilities. I’m stubborn and have not given in easily to my limitations.

For a month now I have been cleaning out cupboards and getting rid of what is no longer needed. I have my new cabinet with the four shelves and it is so much easier to see what I have, clothes wise, that might otherwise have been forgotten in a bottom drawer (bad back, remember).

I’ve used up and thinned out my craft supplies, and this week went through my button box. Box is a misnomer, it’s actually one of those things with many drawers, for the tool shop, for nails and screws and such. I had my button collection in the thirty small drawers, which made it heavy. Every time I picked it up out of the closet I was afraid it would drop or spill it and have my hundreds of sorted buttons all over the place.

Last trip to the dollar store I picked up a little tool container, much like a fishing tackle box and brought it home. Okay, brought them home as I bought two. I spent that evening filling them with buttons and managed to clear out half of the thirty drawers. So, now I need two more.

I feel no guilt about buying these containers, and getting rid of the larger, more cumbersome storage thing. At this stage in my life, it’s all about what makes it easier for me. And looking at one of four, lighter, and closed containers, takes away the stress of lifting and spilling the other.

While I was in this frame of mind, I rearranged the bookcase, well, two shelves of it. I moved my printer up to eye level, where the shelf was higher and I could add paper without the struggle it has been thus far.

I also moved my wooden file holder up a level, so it was more accessible. Why, I wonder, have I not done this before?

It’s like the plastic food containers. They were on the bottom shelf of the cupboard, and with my back it was difficult to bend, and find the matching top and bottom. Now I keep a small collection in a colored bin on the top of the fridge, and I keep it organized as it’s handy.

I use the cane in public, the walker for distances and for some shopping. At home I walk unaided, as long as I have walls, furniture and doorways to lean on. I know, one of these days my disease will progress to where I need the cane or walker all the time. And when that time comes, I hope I’ll be smart enough to make the other changes that will be necessary to make life less of a struggle.

Empty Spaces

My son came this morning with the new cabinet I wanted. He picked it up from the store, took it home to assemble and now has delivered it. I am so excited to have this new space to...organize.

I’ve been cleaning closets and drawers for more than a month. Some of that time has been actually sorting, some in ‘crash’ mode and some in being creative with the craft supplies I found stashed in said cupboards.

My time of cleaning is almost done. And it’s been a discovery. There were Christmas gifts I’d purchased some time ago, (not for last year, thank you, I’m not that bad). I found a beautiful sweater I forgot I owned, and I’ve found space, and delight in empty drawers.

When I moved here almost three years ago, I did a major purge. But, there were some things I just could not give up...because you just never know, right? Now, I’m being ruthless, in both the clothes and the craft supplies.

That move cost me, even though the move itself was a positive thing. My back became a serious issue; I had an MS relapse, and a serious bout of depression. I’ve found my way through, stronger mentally if not physically better. I’m painting again, and for now that’s taking precedence over the writing. I’ve used up a lot of those craft and art supplies I couldn’t live without.

And now, writing this, I’ve had my rest and its back to cleaning. Empty drawers are calling to me. I’m sure I have something I can store in them. The bonus, I can almost see the top of my table that has been my ‘catch-all’ place since the move.

Slow but sure wins the race.

Noise Intolerance

For years I have had a problem being in large groups. Because of my cognitive difficulties, I have issue with the noise, as I can't keep up with all the activity and conversation. The article I've provided the link to below gives some explanation for this. 

I pulled one paragraph out, as it states what I feel so much better than I might be able to do.

"I am unable to carry on a conversation at a party or at a dinner where there are other people talking, as I cannot maintain any sort of attention span for either what the other person is saying or how I can respond in a normal manner."

At large gatherings I tend to sit off to the side, watching more than participating, enjoying one to one side conversations. 

For years I have had people think I am angry, or annoyed, because they see, not quite a grimace, but definitely a furrowed brow that they read as anger. It actually means I'm concentrating, trying to keep track of what is going on. There's mention of this in the article, too.

It's worth a read.


http://ms.about.com/od/signssymptoms/fl/Noise-Intolerance-and-Multiple-Sclerosis.htm?utm_content=20150930&utm_medium=email&utm_source=exp_nl&utm_campaign=list_ms&utm_term=list_ms