Tell Me Why

After a rough weekend I went to bed early last night, and was surprised when I woke up four hours later. Four hours, wow, that’s a lot of sleep in one go for me. A quick trip to the bathroom and I was back, snuggled under the covers and asleep.

Another four hours sleep. I was feeling good, and I think, maybe that’s what I need, to start making up for the years of sleep deprivation. That thought had actually crossed my mind before. I need to sleep when I feel that incredible fatigue come over me, and stop fighting my way through it.

So I’m lounging in bed, feeling good, thinking about what I might accomplish on this good day and I turn over...and bam, out of nowhere, this incredible pain streaks down my right thigh. I freeze, afraid to move in case it comes again, or gets worse. Gingerly I turn, move, test the waters so to speak.

Now the real test, can I stand? Feet flat on the floor, Ok so far, and yes I can walk, leaning on the table, the door frame, I practically fall as I sit on the toilet. I feel pain in my lower legs, but push myself up and carefully make it to my chair.

This is my day, sitting in my chair, playing on the computer, reading, some games, maybe crocheting. Everything I do is a struggle. I ache all over and next time I get up I’ll get an Advil, but right now I need to sit.

Legs ache, right wrist, thumb and shoulder, and I feel the brain fog taking over so it’s hard to think and get this done. I want to go back to that moment earlier, that feel good moment before the pain started again, before my day became real.