I see all of these quotes that people post on Facebook, about friendship. They all say the same sort of thing, good friends are there for you no matter what, and time and distance makes no difference in how you feel.
But what about those friends, supposed friends, who fade away when you are no longer able to do the things you used to do, enjoy things as you once did.
I had a relapse two years ago, when pain became a defining element of my life, in addition to the usual MS symptoms I live with. This was the time I got the walker, and my tolerance for any activity was lessened as to leave me almost housebound. If walking on wintery roads was a deterrent in winter, the heat and sun was the same for summer.
The frequent day trips I enjoyed with one friend haven’t happened in the last two years, and I miss those days of taking off, seeking out new and different places to shop, to eat, to experience. It was just too damn hot, and my pain would not allow me to do the walking nor the sitting in the car. We’ve made do with meeting for dinner, but it hasn’t been the same.
I have another friend, a much older friend, who was getting slower, more of my speed. We shopped, met for lunch and talked on the phone if we weren’t getting together. One day we were walking out of the restaurant after having lunch, I was struggling, using my cane, and she was walking easy as could be, unaided. I laughed, and asked her what was wrong with this picture. She has grey hair, and is obviously older, and I was the more feeble, the one struggling.
We’ve talked less and less lately, and don’t seem to meet as often. But when we talk it’s all about where she’s been and what she’s done. She seems to have found some energy, and is staying active, with other active friends. I’ve experienced this before, with others.
This makes me wonder, have I given in?
The funny thing is I like being home, having time to be creative, whether it’s simple crocheting, or painting or writing. I need to be creative, the same as I need to eat. But creativity is, for me, a solitary activity, and I am not by nature a social person.
That doesn’t mean I’ve given in, it just means I need to make more of an effort to take a break and get out. Something I will do, as soon as this heat spell is over, by calling my friend and planning a trip to take off for the day.
I’m not done yet, and I have to say, I have accomplished a great deal during this time of being home. There’s always a plus side if you look for it. Now, where shall we go when we hit the road?