Denial

I wrote yesterday about how silly I felt, being housebound and running low on toilet paper. I know it’s not a life or death situation, it’s just another piece of this puzzle that’s managing life.

I know I could have made a call and my daughter or a friend could have dropped some TP off, and we’d have had a good laugh about it. If I got down to desperate times I could have pushed myself to go next door, to ‘borrow’.

It’s the bigger picture. I was in the store, Walmart, where I do most of my shopping, (one stop shopping works for a reason) a few days after the hospital visit, as I needed to get my new prescription filled.

In our Walmart the grocery section runs front to back, on the right side of the store. Books and yarn in the middle, pharmacy, pet supplies and seasonal to the left. I went left, dropped off my prescription, toured through and got the yarn I needed and headed to the produce section.

When the pager signaled my meds were ready. So was I, tired and in pain, I had to cross the store again to pick it up. I never made it to the rear of the store where the toilet paper was located, and forgot all about it in my need to get done and get home.

That’s how I found myself a week later in dire straits. OK, that’s a bit dramatic, but I hate when things don’t get done because of fatigue, or I’ve forgotten something because of brain fog. I’m ignoring some things that need to get done, wasting time with unimportant stuff, and denying that I’m not coping.

And denial is a tough way to go through life.